Okay dudes, so here’s the situation. We’re still stuck on Zephyr Prime, day three of these wicked sand storms that are literally sandblasting my beautiful ship down to bare metal. My hull’s heat reflective coating is now decorating half the Zephyrian desert, and Captain Computron 3000 cheerfully informs me that our “exterior thermal regulation system efficiency has decreased by 73.2%”.

So naturally, I’m like “Laura, babe, we gotta bounce. The ship’s getting destroyed out here.”

And what does my lovely wife say? “Just a few more hours, honey. The UV rays here are perfect for tanning.”

Trust me, I love the woman, but sometimes her priorities are totally not tubular. I’m watching my spaceship get a very expensive exfoliation treatment, and she’s out there with her solar reflector like we’re on some kind of beach vacation. The weather station promised these storms would be “light atmospheric disturbances”. Yeah, and I’m the King of Space.

The kids are getting restless in the ship – can’t blame them, bro. We were supposed to be exploring the crystal caves by now, not playing “watch dad’s spaceship get a very expensive exfoliation treatment”. But Laura? She’s out there working on her glow like we’ve got all the time in the galaxy.

“Laura, the insurance forms alone are going to be a paperwork jungle of epic proportions”, I tell her.

“You always worry too much,” she says, not even looking up from her tanning pod.

My dad reflexes are tingling, and not in a good way. At least when we dealt with those space pirates last month, they had the decency to blast clean holes in the hull. Easy to patch, straightforward insurance claim. But this sandstorm damage? This is going to require forms I haven’t even heard of yet.

Silver lining though – once we get out of this mess, the ship’s going to have that weathered, battle-tested look. Very cool. Very “experienced space captain who’s seen some stuff”.

But first, I gotta convince my wife that her tan can wait. Wish me luck, space cadets. I’m going to need it.

Catch you on the flip side (hopefully with a ship that still has paint on it)!

Oops. Another day watching the sand storms blast the last of the heat reflective paint off the hull.

We really should have followed my advice and left before the end of Winter here but Laura wanted to get a few more rays of sun before we left for our next destination.

So, the dog can’t actually communicate but maybe sometimes there could be ‘guest’ posts from the dog where someone else in the family as written it. Maybe a little joke that they created an account for the dog

Getting pestered by the family to get ready for our next destination. Just need a few more rays of sunshine and then we can be off.

I’m sure that little cloud of sand in the distance won’t be a problem.

Yo gang! You ever put Space Rocks candy in your Chocopop breakfast toastie? Don’t let your ‘health conscious’ mum see you but… wowser… popping chocolate overload!

Mom keeps telling me to quit picking stuff up but there’s just so many cool things on this planet and there’s always room on this ship to start a new collection.

can’t seem to get this one to come off my finger and it’s starting to wriggle!!!! MOM!!!!!

Always some paperwork that I don’t understand. Paperwork to leave the planet, paperwork to hyperspace, paperwork to land on a planet. Maybe I can just pretend the dog ate my paperwork.

I’ll just email this photo library image with a short apology next time I miss the deadline.

Family name ideas – Firefly

Dad – Hoban or mal for actual relationship
Mum – Zoe
Son – Jayne 
Daughter – Kaylee
Dog –
Robot –

Family name ideas – Battlestar Galactica

Dad – William
Mum – Laura
Son – Lee
Daughter – Kara
Dog – Jake
Robot – Apollo

Family name ideas – Firefly

Dad –
Mum
Son
Daughter
Dog
Robot